Loving him is all she knows...

     A serene calmness lies over the trees. A silence that spreads all around, with that distant chirping of the birds. The twinkling of the moon, in the water below, reflects bright in her eyes. The occasional splattering of water, the tip tap footsteps of the resting cows, brings about that unique feeling of oneness. Here she is one with the nature, away from the maddening rush, peaceful in her mother's lap. The wind smoothly caresses her as she rests her feet in the depth of the water below. As the aroma of the wet soil eases her sense, her soul finds solace. Here she knows that she can forget the searing pain throbbing through her veins, as the beauty if nature fills the hole in her heart. Her smile isn't fake, her tears don't flow and her pulse sing a song of beauty when she is here. This is her escape, her haven, the one place she feels safe at.

        But no matter how divine her hideout is, there are still snakes lurking in the deepest corners of the pond, thriving on her inner demons. She knows the pain will be waiting in her path, its hood spread, patiently awaiting its moment to strike. She knows this because she is never truly safe. Sometimes this very wind that is so kind to her, rings in its breezes the whisper of his voice. Sometimes the soothing moonlight brings in its rays the silkiness of his touch. Sometimes the slowly dancing water shows his face in its steely folds. She can escape the physical presence of his world, but she can't hide from the feelings that dwell in her heart, feeding on her life energy. He resides in the core of her soul, wrapped in the arms of love. 

        Yes she loves him, its a reality she can't run away from. And yet she knows he can never be hers. He is the forbidden fruit whose lure sends her through hell. He wasn't meant to be hers. But her heart doesn't know that and her soul doesn't accept that. They pine after him, pushing her into a world of dark clouds. She knows he broke her heart, she knows loving him more will slowly break her spirit. But she just can't stop those feelings overwhelming her every thought, her every instinct. She will love him even if it destroys her. she will love him till that gaping hole in her heart consumes her existence. She will love him beyond Haedes' berth. Because loving him is all she knows.

First Closeness...!!!

             And so time stopped. All I could see was you, so close to me and yet miles apart. There you were, barely inches from me, my surroundings filled with your presence. Nothing mattered to me; the heat of the room, the buzz of the class, that distant voice of the teacher, everything was a blur. All I could feel was that tingling presence of yours. I could smell that unique cologne that was you, feel the heat radiating off your skin, as it touched mine, warming my very core. I just had to stretch my fingers to caress that soft skin your hand, to feel that fine texture underneath my fingers.

            

            And yet I couldn’t. You are my forbidden fruit that lures me into its den; teasing me, tormenting me. I know I can’t have you, and yet I yearn for you. I don’t know what it is that pulls me to you, but it’s so hard to resist. I yearn to touch you and know you. Having you so close to me today, it took every single fibre of my body to hold me back. All I know is, during those moments time stopped for me, all I was aware of was the closeness between us. All that mattered was the space we shared, that moment when we nearly touched, the area electrified by the intensity of our auras.

           

              I don’t know what it is that we have, I don’t know what you mean to me. All I know is that I want you to be mine. I want your eyes to look at me only. I want that crooked smile on your face to e for me. I want your hand to never leave mine. I want your lips to adore mine. I want you more than I can express. This desire for you burns through every vein of my body. Whenever I see you, I want to hold you. We are so magnetic, and yet I repel you. I wish you could see me the way I do; I wish you could feel the pull like I do.

I know I would never get another chance like today. I would never have you so close to me ever again. But there is a wish, a hope in me, that someday we can be closer than this. And till the day comes, I will hold today close to me, hidden under the layers of my desire, waiting for the time when we could be close again.